Photo dump from before I left the Philippines in 2016.
Yesterday, I was informed someone took his life because of depression. Although I don’t even know him personally, I was shocked. It’s happening. And it’s closer to us than you think. I was too moved I went autopilot and shared how depression felt like.
It’s waking up in the morning feeling dead-tired already, you’re too tired to even breathe.
It’s having all the reasons around you to be happy and celebrate life, but, you are blinded and imprisoned by thoughts— “there is nothing left for you, you’re too lost, there’s no any other way for you to go.”
It’s being tired, sad, and hurting without reason you can pinpoint.
It’s battling with yourself everyday growing more tired and hopeless in each passing day. You want to end the suffering and the only solution you could think about is to end it all— to end your life. For that moment you think it’s the only escape and you don’t care about how selfish it is— you don’t even think it’s selfish.
Depression is irrational. It’s confusing how someone who looks happy all the time can take his own life one day. How someone who looks like he has everything figured out runs and finds comfort in suicide.
I’M NOT A FAN OF DEPRESSION. BUT I’M A BIG FAN OF SELF-CARE.
If you’ve read until this part and you know you’re going through something like this— find support. I know it’s hard to even breathe or get out of bed or eat but please seek help. Start by reaching out to someone and talk to them. Don’t be scared! Literally send a “HELP” text to someone you trust NOW. You can message me!!! I don’t care if we’re not personally close, just message me.
If someone you know is suffering from this and is reaching out to you, be there. Actually even if they don’t want to reach out to you but you know they’ve been keeping this to themselves— be there. That’s the simplest thing you can do. Be there, talk to them, listen to them, most especially PRAY FOR THEM. It’s not easy to spot someone suffering. But you can set aside time to genuinely ask them how they are. Even a simple “How have you been?” means a lot. Now go get your phone and call that person NOW.
My prayer is that every Christian people will be able to discern the people they are with. I pray that one day, depression will no longer plague our society especially our youth. It’s heartbreaking, but for someone who has been there it’s really no joke. They’re not being too emo or looking for attention. If you only know what’s going on inside their head... they just want to rest, they just want peace.
So, this is the perfect time to pray for them and share to them about Jesus — the source of never-ending overflowing genuine love, joy, and peace. Fight alongside them. Let them know that God has plans for them. Help them see the light that is Jesus. It won’t be easy, but it will all be worth it. And remember, you can do all things with Christ. 🙂
(Facebook status from 2017)
It's been a looooooooong while since I logged back in here. First — because I couldn't find the time (or doesn't have the motivation to make time) and second — because I don't think I have something worthy to share about.
I have this very very irrational fear that if I put something good in paper (in this case an online paper, lol) I would later on realise that everything is just an illusion I'm telling myself. Tough, battling the mind.
(We could try making this a 4-week commitment to write.)
Soooo I just started a new job.
Yes in the middle of a pandemic, I was blessed with a job.
And yes it's the dream that is to work remotely.
Fun. Fun. Fun.
For the first two weeks, it's been an amazing experience to get my hands and brainzzz to work again.
No longer lost in the spiraling void of Netflix and social media.
The job is wide in scope.
It has the bits and pieces of content writing, marketing, admin, social media, sometimes smol smol graphics, technical stuff (i.e. setting up litol systems to create an easier working environment for everyone in the team), and daily accountability conversations which my mind is still puzzled to be part of daily— because it's actually great.
(So, sorry my mind is all over the place but you know—that is me. 🤣)
Here's a preview of my desk today. I have much to talk about but I'll end here for now. 😊
In my desk are:
- my tiny diffuser
- coffee cup and plate where my buns were lol
- my first plant! Love it so much because it's super low maintenance 🌱
- my water! 💦
- my snowball mic which has come really handy since work started, hubby also uses this when playing
- pens, pens, and pens
- my work notebook which is almost full!
- my airpods which I only discovered works in my laptop, hence, I don't use bulky headphones anymore! also saved me bucks from buying a new one. 💲💲💲
- laptop and secondary screen ...which I actually don't use lol I can't keep up with it 🤣
- this cute desk lamp my husband owns 💕
Yesterday was a rough day. Because 1) I was exhausted from squeezing-in errands and all the travels going from Hagonoy to Baliuag to Mandaluyong to Malolos in one day. 2) I was beginning to feel anxious from overflowing thoughts and sick from all the negative nostalgic vibes I try hard not to entertain and yesterday the cloud was just too thick. 3) I deleted my Facebook app because I cannot deal with all the negativity for months now and yesterday was a tipping point.
Since one of my goals was to write more, here goes the stories behind these three and how they got sorted out:
I chose Starbucks as my waiting area after yesterday’s mad travels. I sat there enjoying my Soy Green Tea Latte, grabbed a piece of paper, prayed, and scribbled thoughts that have been clouding my mind recently. Faced with major decisions, I was unsure if I’m taking the right path. But I fought through the cloud and assessed my situation. I’ve always liked me-time because it’s when I get to answer questions and issues I’m currently dealing with.
At the end of my two-hour reflection, I was able to reach a conclusion. That place I was in the past few months made perfect sense for me but I wasn’t fully-prepared for it. And as a new set of priorities unfold before me, what makes sense today is the path I chose to take. However since I know I would always want to be in that same environment in the future, I went on working on a draft plan on how I can achieve that. Now my challenge is to commit to the yearly goal and polish the wire-frame as I go.
SETTLED.
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It’s been an arduous internal battle: I want to leave social media but I can’t because I need it for the business because it’s the inevitable new technology.
I know it’s impossible to leave the platform so I tried other ways, and the perfect move was— to change my algorithm. I went onboard with the process and it’s a continuous work to this day, refining things along the way and it’s actually been working fine. I highly recommend it.
You see, I have always been trusting of people and I always try to look at them in high standard and respect despite the obvious red flags. But yesterday was a new low. Every single day I go outside, I see the reality of how uneducated people can act. And how discipline, manners, and respect were now just words stripped of their meanings; no longer put to use.
Social media has the ability to magnify things and I’ve seen it magnify humanity’s lack of discipline, manners, and respect these days; how a number of us have become lost causes. So I was one step into leaving social media because I’m done with lost causes. But today one person changed that. One person showed me there still are people out there who are forward-thinkers who would rather be constructive and positive instead of throwing a fit.
REDEEMED.
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As for my exhaustion from traveling, I slept a good 7.5hrs straight and a few more untracked ones.
RESTED.
Samgyeopsarap was one of the few Samgyeopsal restaurants in Bulacan that I’ve been to. As promised, here is a review and some details.
Samgyeopsarap is situated along McArthur Highway across Malolos Sports and Convention Center where Conan Gym was formerly located. A small car park is available for customers beside the restaurant. Good point considering it’s location; you won’t have to park on the main road. It operates from 11AM–10PM, Sunday thru Saturday.
Since it used to be a gym, the interiors were decorated with generously-sized mirrors. Cute, pwede mo mapanood sarili mo kung gano ka kalakas kumain. Hihi. It’s spacious, well-lit, well-ventilated and properly maintained. I personally liked the warm lights and gray ceiling.
Everyone had unlimited pork that comes in four varieties:
- Plain
- Honey mustard
- Spicy
- Korean BBQ
and ten side dishes:
- Kimchi
- Baby potato
- Fish cake
- Radish salad
- Japchae/ Chapchae
- Potato Salad
- Onion
- Lettuce
- Cucumber salad
- Rice
Fun part is they serve you the first batch of sides dishes and a starter soup (which I really liked) then you can have your fun at the buffet table after. Meat refills are by request. Includes unlimited iced tea refills too.
Plain meat is the usual, unmarinated pork strip; perfect combination to anything and the safest order. Honey mustard, spicy, and Korean BBQ flavors were served in a single plate altogether— I couldn’t distinguish which is which when cooked. They all tasted the same to me. ☹️
Kimchi is an 8/10 spicy for me. And is gewwwwwd. Baby potato is not that sweet. Like 7/10 sweetness. Fish cake is ok, taste isn’t overwhelming. Radish salad is ok. Chapchae is mild-tasting. If you like Bonchon’s, this is like 5/10 of the taste. Potato salad looked like coleslaw to me and I wasn’t a fan of how it tastes. Maybe I was biased by how it looked. Hehe. Onion, ok. Lettuce, ok. Cucumber salad is good and spicy. Rice is a bit dry and loose. I loved the starter soup. Spicy and rich-tasting.
Time limit is two hours only and they charge for leftover meat. We finished with only 15 minutes to spare— lol we obviously had fun in that buffet table.
Staff are accommodating and polite; excellent service.
Samgyeopsarap also offers Japanese and Chinese cuisine along with the signature unlimited samgyeopsal. But since this is a samgyeopsal review, here’s the price list for each unlimited samgyeopsal variant:
Unlimited pork: P299
Unlimited beef: P450
Unlimited pork, beef, and hotdog: P399
Unlimited pork, chicken, and hotdog: P320
Combo pork, beef, chicken, and hotdog: P420
Additional cheese: P50 per head
Verdict: 8/10, will come back.
