Photo dump from before I left the Philippines in 2016.
Yesterday, I was informed someone took his life because of depression. Although I don’t even know him personally, I was shocked. It’s happening. And it’s closer to us than you think. I was too moved I went autopilot and shared how depression felt like.
It’s waking up in the morning feeling dead-tired already, you’re too tired to even breathe.
It’s having all the reasons around you to be happy and celebrate life, but, you are blinded and imprisoned by thoughts— “there is nothing left for you, you’re too lost, there’s no any other way for you to go.”
It’s being tired, sad, and hurting without reason you can pinpoint.
It’s battling with yourself everyday growing more tired and hopeless in each passing day. You want to end the suffering and the only solution you could think about is to end it all— to end your life. For that moment you think it’s the only escape and you don’t care about how selfish it is— you don’t even think it’s selfish.
Depression is irrational. It’s confusing how someone who looks happy all the time can take his own life one day. How someone who looks like he has everything figured out runs and finds comfort in suicide.
I’M NOT A FAN OF DEPRESSION. BUT I’M A BIG FAN OF SELF-CARE.
If you’ve read until this part and you know you’re going through something like this— find support. I know it’s hard to even breathe or get out of bed or eat but please seek help. Start by reaching out to someone and talk to them. Don’t be scared! Literally send a “HELP” text to someone you trust NOW. You can message me!!! I don’t care if we’re not personally close, just message me.
If someone you know is suffering from this and is reaching out to you, be there. Actually even if they don’t want to reach out to you but you know they’ve been keeping this to themselves— be there. That’s the simplest thing you can do. Be there, talk to them, listen to them, most especially PRAY FOR THEM. It’s not easy to spot someone suffering. But you can set aside time to genuinely ask them how they are. Even a simple “How have you been?” means a lot. Now go get your phone and call that person NOW.
My prayer is that every Christian people will be able to discern the people they are with. I pray that one day, depression will no longer plague our society especially our youth. It’s heartbreaking, but for someone who has been there it’s really no joke. They’re not being too emo or looking for attention. If you only know what’s going on inside their head... they just want to rest, they just want peace.
So, this is the perfect time to pray for them and share to them about Jesus — the source of never-ending overflowing genuine love, joy, and peace. Fight alongside them. Let them know that God has plans for them. Help them see the light that is Jesus. It won’t be easy, but it will all be worth it. And remember, you can do all things with Christ. 🙂
(Facebook status from 2017)
It's been a looooooooong while since I logged back in here. First — because I couldn't find the time (or doesn't have the motivation to make time) and second — because I don't think I have something worthy to share about.
I have this very very irrational fear that if I put something good in paper (in this case an online paper, lol) I would later on realise that everything is just an illusion I'm telling myself. Tough, battling the mind.
(We could try making this a 4-week commitment to write.)
Soooo I just started a new job.
Yes in the middle of a pandemic, I was blessed with a job.
And yes it's the dream that is to work remotely.
Fun. Fun. Fun.
For the first two weeks, it's been an amazing experience to get my hands and brainzzz to work again.
No longer lost in the spiraling void of Netflix and social media.
The job is wide in scope.
It has the bits and pieces of content writing, marketing, admin, social media, sometimes smol smol graphics, technical stuff (i.e. setting up litol systems to create an easier working environment for everyone in the team), and daily accountability conversations which my mind is still puzzled to be part of daily— because it's actually great.
(So, sorry my mind is all over the place but you know—that is me. 🤣)
Here's a preview of my desk today. I have much to talk about but I'll end here for now. 😊
In my desk are:
- my tiny diffuser
- coffee cup and plate where my buns were lol
- my first plant! Love it so much because it's super low maintenance 🌱
- my water! 💦
- my snowball mic which has come really handy since work started, hubby also uses this when playing
- pens, pens, and pens
- my work notebook which is almost full!
- my airpods which I only discovered works in my laptop, hence, I don't use bulky headphones anymore! also saved me bucks from buying a new one. 💲💲💲
- laptop and secondary screen ...which I actually don't use lol I can't keep up with it 🤣
- this cute desk lamp my husband owns 💕
