#2: three fears and their becoming
Wednesday, November 08, 2017
Describe three legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
The moment this question popped up, I tried to dig the answer as fast as I can. But I could not.
So I thought, maybe I don't have a fear that strikes that much?
I gave myself a few minutes, a few hours, another day. And of course, the idea popped in the wee hour of the night and up to this moment whilst writing this entry still on my PJs. It looks like I don't have a strong 'phobia' on anything. So I had to touch base with the topic. "Define fear", I told Siri.
| ˈfir |
NOUN
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.
• (archaic) a mixed feeling of dread and reverence.
• a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.
• the likelihood of something unwelcome happening
Now, I think a fear for me is that idea so strong it makes me extremely anxious thinking about it. Do I have those? Yes. Let's start.
1. Fear of rejection/ failure
Alas, isn't this everyone's fear?
I believe every one of us is born a lover — of people, of the world, of new beginnings, of adventure, of everything around us. That we all were optimists and joyous people. Until one way or another, we have experienced rejection. May it be a rejection of an idea, a failed entrance exam to your dream school, a job you didn't get, rejection from that girl you've been praying for, telling your family you have been baptized and getting sent out immediately; rejection has many forms.
I think my fear of being rejected was what has led me to stagnancy.
This fear is scary. It would cause you to have failed opportunities even before they can knock — even before you can try. Did you know even writing on this blog makes me feel anxious? Fearing that I will again receive bad comments and threats for speaking out?
How did this fear come to be? From feeling pain, I guess. From hate constantly thrown. Scary.
There you have it. What an anxiety-inducing topic to write about. But it's quite nice trying to trace them down. Feels like an inner-healing deliverance session!
I would like to add a follow-up question — how would you overcome these fears? Or any fears? — easy.
Failures may be inevitable, people may frustrate me, I may sail in a stormy sea, but one thing is for sure — God is with me all days of my life.
The words "fear not" and its equivalents have been mentioned in the Bible 365 times.
It is as if the Lord is telling us to fear not every single day of a year. I believe hearing God tell us to fear not just once is already enough. But this number is interesting, isn't it?
Here is a printable of all those 365 fear nots by musingsofaministerswife which I think would be helpful should you ever need to pull one "fear not" a day.
2. Fear of intimacy
Don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong.
I am naturally an intimate type of person. I am very clingy — sometimes to the point of being annoying — around people I love and value.
But this fear, as I've observed, surfaces only on new people I meet.
Naturally, I am stoked to connect with new people because I am an extrovert. I like real conversations and getting deep into the soul of every person I am meeting; I am put off by small talks. But just as I am getting comfortable and building connection — I am taken aback. Suddenly I would feel tensed and would see worst-case scenarios where this person will eventually stab me in the back and leave. This phenomenon debilitates me to proceed and eventually leads me to cut ties.
I think this roots from trust issues for both men and women in my life who have once betrayed me one way or another. My experience in bullying has never been physical but surely left more scars.
3. Fear of the future
I remember sitting in the kitchen having a good talk with my mother about my vision and plans for my future where I suddenly burst into tears.
It scares the hell out of me more than anything — to not know where I am going in this life.
Honestly, I am not sure how this came to be. Maybe from growing up as an achiever and suddenly feeling lost and not being sure of anything? Being out of my comfort zone? It sure is the one fear that had been the cause of my many panic attacks, many sleepless nights, many depressive episodes.
—
There you have it. What an anxiety-inducing topic to write about. But it's quite nice trying to trace them down. Feels like an inner-healing deliverance session!
I would like to add a follow-up question — how would you overcome these fears? Or any fears? — easy.
God.
The Bible.
Failures may be inevitable, people may frustrate me, I may sail in a stormy sea, but one thing is for sure — God is with me all days of my life.
The words "fear not" and its equivalents have been mentioned in the Bible 365 times.
It is as if the Lord is telling us to fear not every single day of a year. I believe hearing God tell us to fear not just once is already enough. But this number is interesting, isn't it?
Here is a printable of all those 365 fear nots by musingsofaministerswife which I think would be helpful should you ever need to pull one "fear not" a day.
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