The last quarter of the year is passing by so quickly and this week has been particularly the fastest yet. Despite that, I had time to look back to the past months where I had experienced some unwell time. And of course to thank God for seeing me through. I have made some humble steps for growth and sometimes I hardly recognize myself — in a good way. Right now I want to keep fanning the fire and be a piece of burning charcoal to those who need me.

I have this habit of voice recording my overflowing thoughts which could not be conveyed properly on paper. I listened to my recordings from last week to five months prior and scrolled through my notes to see if there are also entries. You will really notice the change in the tone and feel of each recording and the words used in each note. Five months prior sound heavy, tells about just trying to live and looking forward to dying as the greatest reward. Very selfish.

I remember that was when I decided to have my 3rd attempt in Training for Victory. I know I needed to re-align myself and the best thing I could think of is, of course, filling my tank with Gospel stuff. I thought the training is redundant because of how many times I've heard the topics. But, no, the Word of God is a double-edged sword. There is always something new.

It was life-changing.

From someone who used to see life as a burden, I now have the appreciation of it. I see things differently. I live every single day with a smile on my face, knowing exactly what is my season, and trying not to get distracted. I am choosing my battles. I still have a lot to learn and I am thankful for people who did not give up on me. And for those people who God had and has been using to show me how beautiful life is and for teaching me things I often overlook.

Through the course of this year, my relationship with my father had grown into something much overwhelming than before. He has turned into my mentor and I have learned to listen, to accept I have flaws, and to humble myself and make myself think deeper than I used to. I have learned to be tougher but no longer hiding behind my walls. Learned to be soft but wise. Learned to open up but still guarding my heart. One thing I am yet to master is how to be happy while not getting too overwhelmed.

There is so much to learn in this life, so much to do, so many stories to hear and share, so many things to see, so many people to meet, so many places to go, so many songs to sing.


That's all. Like how I used to leave footprints of my unwell times, I also want to leave footprints of the good times to serve as a reminder to myself that life is beautiful and things shall pass.